Surviving and Thriving In the Teen Years

by Betsy Little

Those of us who have raised our teens are sometimes reluctant to spend a lot of time reliving the experience.  It’s not that the time spent with a teen is awful but it can be challenging at times.  If we have been doing our parenting “right,”  as our children enter their teen years we continue to give them more responsibility and more age-appropriate choices.  However, we are still the parent and they are still our children.  I think it can be helpful in parenting to devise a mantra that can be repeated as often as necessary as we parent our teens.  One of my mantras was “My job is to keep you safe.”  Another useful mantra for me was “It is hard to be a teen and it is hard to be the parent of a teen.”  I am not sure these mantras helped my teen but they helped remind me what I needed to focus on at this important time.

BRAIN DEVELOPMENT

A current advertisement in a national magazine says “Why do most sixteen- year-olds drive like they’re missing part of their brain?  Because they are.”

The part of our teen’s brain that has a role in his/her decision making, control of impulses, planning, organizing and making good judgments is not fully developed until the teen is in his/her twenties.  Our teens may look full grown and sometimes they may act like adults, and they certainly want to be treated like adults, but the reality is they are not adults.

In comparing the brains of two- year-olds and teens we see some similarities.  A two year old might say “me do it” while a teen might say “leave me alone.”  A two- year-old may have a tantrum by throwing himself on the floor and screaming, while a teen might slam the door, pout and/or refuse to talk.  A curious two- year-old might get into things s/he should not get into while a teen takes risks while driving, going out and/or using illegal substances.

SOME GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS OF TEENS

1.  Pick Your Battles: Try to determine what is most important and let go of some of the smaller annoyances.

2.  Whenever possible, let teens experience the natural consequences of their actions. A good example is if the teen oversleeps on a school day, let her figure out how to get to school and/or explain to the school why she is late.

3.  With your teen, (and your other children), devise a set of written family rules.  Have no more than seven rules and list the behaviors you want to see and what you don’t want to see.  Decide as a family what the consequences will be for following the rules and for breaking the rules. Instead of saying “Be home by your curfew” or “Don’t be late” say “Be home by 11 pm on week-end nights.”  “Do not come home after 11 pm on a week-end night.” The reward for following this rule might be that your teen gets to go out the next night.  The consequence for coming home at 11:30 pm instead of 11:00 might be having to come home a half hour earlier the next night.

4.  Learn How to Argue:  Pick a time that works for you and your teen.  Make a decision with your teen about what you will discuss. Stick to the subject—neither you nor your teen should talk about other incidents that occurred long ago.  Try to stay calm and listen to one another.  If you feel you or your teen is losing control, reschedule your discussion.

5.  Address risky behavior before it becomes a problem.  Let your teen know  your expectations of him/her.

6.  Remove computers and T.V.’s  from your child’s bedroom.  Place them in more central areas of the house.

7.  Establish rules and consequences about the use of cell phones.

HELPFUL HINTS THAT JUST MIGHT WORK

1.  Listen, listen, and listen!  When you are driving kids in your car, listen to what they are saying.  If you are really quiet, you become almost invisible and you may learn a lot.

2.  Be sure to compliment your teen for the many things s/he does right.  In the course of a day, teens need to hear a few more compliments than critical remarks.

3.  Have fun with your teen— find reasons to laugh together!

4.  Try to be available when your teen is talkative.  Sometimes it means staying up a few minutes later when s/he arrives home and sharing a snack.  It may be well worth your time.

5.  Ask your teens to come see you when arriving home at night.  Give them a hug or a kiss. This closeness may also let you know if they have been smoking and/or drinking.

6.  If your teen is watching T.V., sit down with her/him.  Just be there.  Conversation may occur.

7.  Insist that your family eat dinner together at least a few nights a week.  Research is showing that families that share meals together have fewer problems with the kids’ behavior.

8.  Be a model of the behaviors you want to see in your teen.

OTHER RESOURCES:

Why Do They Act That Way?  A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen by David Walsh

http://www.mqthealth.org  “Adolescent Health”

Betsy Little is a Family Health Educator at the Marquette Co. Health Dept. She works in-home with families who have children birth—18 years, and with pregnant and parenting teens. Betsy and her husband have two young adult children. You may reach Betsy at 315-2613.

Temporary Body Art

by Kris Harris Pfaffle

The use and practices of temporary body art have a history just as long and fascinating as that of permanent tattooing, with traditions ranging across the globe.  The purpose of historical temporary body art was primarily related to special events and ceremonies, but these practices have meandered their way into our Western culture and are experiencing a true renaissance in contemporary use.  The cultural traditions of henna/mehndi art as practiced in the Middle East, North Africa, and Asia had become “old fashioned” in their territories of origin, with the younger generation turning away from the old practices.  As it has become more popular in the West, it has also experienced a rebirth of popularity in the old countries, providing a beautiful and viable option for corporal self-expression in celebrations, ceremonies, or just for fun.

Ancient Roman manuscripts mention the color and character of Briton body art, as stated in the Latin translation:  “All the Britons dye their bodies with woad (vitrum), which produces a blue colour, and this gives them a more terrifying appearance in battle.” Unfortunately, as this tradition was broken for at least twelve centuries and no written record exists on pre-Christian Celtic body art, we may never be certain what it looked like or how it was done.  Perhaps it was used for significant events, vows, or magical protection.

Presently, crystallized indigo from the Indigofera tinctoria plant produces a similar effect to the woad used by the Celts, but it is easier to store, use, and manage (as compared to woad processing, which smelled like rotting cabbage, urine, and rotten eggs, which might be considered a turn-off for some).  Its blue color, higher dye content than true woad, ease of  application, and short staining time make it a good choice for temporary elegant body art.

Genipa Americana is the Latin name for the dye used in Jagua body art.  The fruit of this flowering tree is what produces the stain.  Collected while the fruit is not entirely ripe, the clear juice oxidizes while on the skin over a period of about twelve hours, producing a blue-black color that can last up to two weeks.  The traditional method of application was with twigs or sticks dipped into the juice, and goes back as long as the tribes can remember.  Passed down through generations over thousands of years, different Amazonian tribes have different methods for preparing their paint.  Its medicinal properties are well-documented, chief among them the ability to ward off insects, treat bronchitis, and protect from sunburn.  It is not uncommon to see babies covered from head to toe in black stains as a means to repel biting insects.  Historically, the women of the community made designs with symbolic traditions passed down over the generations.  Modern application techniques popular with Western youth use a gel medium, which is applied to the skin with paintbrush or bottle, left on for two hours, then washed off, leaving an initial pale grayish design that will oxidize over a twelve hour period to shades of blue-black.

Henna body art is probably most familiar to Western society from photos of Hindu brides who are intricately patterned with henna for their weddings.  The artwork signifies the strength and success of this marriage, and the bride makes an effort to keep it on as long as possible to maximize the power of the final stain.  This intricate design often incorporates the names and/or faces of the bride and groom.

Henna traditions do not belong to any one single religious community or area of the world. They are commonly found in North and East Africa, the Middle East, and South Asia.  Hindus, Sikhs, Muslims, Christians, Jews, and Buddhists have all used henna at one time or another.  Jesus and Mary very likely had henna on their bodies for the wedding celebration at Cana.

Although henna is most often seen on women, men also use henna for weddings, celebrations, and circumcision ceremonies.  Some celebrations even call for creating beautiful designs on horses, donkeys, and dogs.

Creating henna designs on a woman after she gives birth is a traditional way to deter malevolent spirits and the “evil eye” that are thought to cause disease, depression, and poor bonding with her baby.  The application process of henna to her feet prevents her from getting up to do housework.  During the weeks after application, she is ritually not allowed to do the household tasks that would spoil the beauty of these henna stains, which increases the likelihood that she will rest properly and regain her strength after giving birth.  She must allow a friend or relative to help her care for her older children, cook, clean, and help with the new infant.  This assistance gives her time to regain her strength and to bond with the new arrival.  Interestingly, very low rates of postpartum depression are found in countries such as India, North Africa, and the Middle East that practice these traditions within the popular religious practices of Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, and Coptic Christianity.  These rituals support the mother both physically and emotionally after birth, and help to reintegrate her into her community following the birth and recovery.

Henna grown in the hot climates of Morocco, Yemen, India, and Pakistan has more dye content in the leaves and will yield stronger stains by bonding with the keratin in skin and hair.  When applied to skin, the stain molecule penetrates and saturates the top layer of skin (stratum corneum), leaving stains ranging from orange to near black on the thickest areas of skin, usually the palms and soles.  Stains will exfoliate from the skin in 7 – 30 days with the natural regeneration process.  Historically, henna was applied with a small stick, still a common method in many areas.  Presently, most henna artists use either a rolled paper cone, bottle, or blunted syringe to apply designs to the skin.  Once the paste has been left on the skin for six to eight hours and scraped off, during the first 48 hours after application it will oxidize and darken, much the same way that a cut apple turns brown if left exposed to the air.

Indigo, henna, and jagua are becoming more widely available in Western countries as a result of popularization in Western pop culture, and are a fun alternative to permanent tattooing which allows experimentation, self-expression, and unending variety.

Official “Yooper transplant,” Kris Harris Pfaffle has been creating artsy-crafty items to sell since grade school, most recently following where her current henna body art endeavor may lead. To follow Kris’ current obsession, search “Behennaed” on FaceBook for running commentary and upcoming events.

Keweenaw Shore Nature Sanctuary

by Joan Chadde

Some of us have a favorite song, a favorite rock, a favorite book, or perhaps a favorite place. The Keweenaw Shore Nature Sanctuary in Keweenaw County, (owned by the Michigan Nature Association), is one of my favorite places in the Upper Peninsula.

The Keweenaw Shore Nature Sanctuary straddles M-26 adjacent to the Esrey Park roadside picnic area, about 8 miles east of Eagle Harbor and 6 miles west of Copper Harbor. A short three-quarter mile trail begins across from Esrey Park, passing through four distinct plant communities and over several rocky ridges of Copper Harbor conglomerate—a sedimentary rock formation consisting of individual rock fragments within a finer-grained matrix that have become cemented together.

At the start of the trail, the hiker enters a northern boreal forest of white spruce, balsam fir, aspen, and white birch. Look for heart-leaved arnica growing on the rocky, dry soil, and Usnea  lichen, (Old Man’s Beard), draped over the balsam fir and white spruce trees, creating an eerie atmosphere. Light green Usnea covers tree bark and branches with a profuse, beardlike growth that can reach a foot in length!  Many bird species, including ruby-throated hummingbirds, boreal chickadees, American redstarts, and white-winged crossbills pad their nests with these soft lichens.

The Usnea lichen is particularly effective at absorbing minerals from the air, making it sensitive to airborne pollutants, especially sulfur dioxide, so it’s a useful bio-indicator of air quality. Under poor air quality conditions, Usnea lichens may grow no larger than a few millimeters, if they  survive at all. Where the air is not polluted, Usnea lichens can grow ten to twenty centimeters long.

The second plant community along the trail is a cedar swamp. Look for white cedar, balsam fir, alder and a dense ground cover of sedges.  

Next, the hiker enters a small sampler of a northern conifer bog, complete with sphagnum moss as ground cover, along with bog laurel, pitcher plants, leatherleaf shrubs, black spruce, and Labrador tea.

Lastly, the trail climbs over a rocky ridge and enters a dry hardwood-conifer forest before   descending to Brockway Mountain Drive. Plants common to this forest plant community are white pine, arnica, bracken fern, aster and thimbleberry.  White pine needles carpet the dry rocky soil. 

The geology is special here, too. Some of the rocks are more than one billion years old! The trail traverses a series of rocky ridges interspersed with low-lying wet areas. Look for the rounded gravel deposited along one of many shorelines associated with periods of glacial retreat, which occurred only a few thousand years ago.

Driving Directions

From Eagle Harbor, follow M-26 northeast about six miles, (or follow M-26 eight miles west of Copper Harbor), to the Esrey Park roadside picnic area along Lake Superior, less than a mile from Brockway Mountain Drive’s west entrance. Visitors may park at Esrey Park or along the south side of M-26 near the Michigan Nature Association sanctuary trailhead sign. 

Trail Description

Difficulty: Easy to moderate

Terrain: Flat to rolling

Distance: 0.75 mile trail from M-26 to Brockway Mountain Drive; 1.5 miles roundtrip

Size: 36 acres

Ownership: Michigan Nature Association

Contact: (517) 655-5655, www.michigannature.org

Joan Chadde has 25+ years of environmental education experience. She authored Michigan Water Quality Curriculum (2006), Design Guidelines to Enhance Community Appearance & Protect Natural Resources (2004), and most recently compiled Walking Paths & Protected Areas of the Keweenaw (2009), from which this article is adapted.

The Michigan Nature Association, established in 1952, is a nonprofit conservation organization dedicated to protecting Michigan’s exceptional natural habitats and extraordinary and endangered plants and animals. Our members have made it possible for us to preserve 165 nature sanctuaries in 56 counties throughout the state today and forever. MNA published Walking Paths & Protected Areas of the Keweenaw (2009). Copies may be purchased on their website, http://www.michigannature.org, in Marquette bookstores and twenty-two Keweenaw Peninsula locations.