Positive Parenting: Handling a Hidden, Misunderstood Childhood Epidemic, Zephyrus Call

teenage depression and anxiety, positive parenting, advice for parents to handle adolescent depression, Nathan Wesley Seitz Memorial Scholarship Fund, childhood mental health epidemic, UP holistic wellness publication

Nothing is more terrifying than the thought of one’s child being consumed by illness. Though many think of physical afflictions, a more deadly and covert epidemic is on a sharp rise: adolescent depression. The deadliest part of this disease is its ability to hide itself from others. Unfortunately, we don’t know what we don’t know. Filling these gaps in our knowledge allows this covert disease to become recognizable and treatable.

Mental illness is complex and very under-studied, even in the modern age of medicine and technology. Pinpointing a cause of adolescent depression is no easy task; every case is nuanced and complicated.

Genetics are proven to be a factor in the development of adolescent depression, meaning a family history of depression increases a child’s likelihood of developing symptoms themselves.

Puberty, unsurprisingly, increases the risk of adolescent depression. The physical changes brought on by puberty often create mental turmoil in adolescents. Their body changes by the day, and hormones rise, affecting mood intensely. Not only does puberty change adolescents physically, but it brings on changes socially. Puberty shifts the way peers interact, the adolescent’s roles and responsibilities, and even their environment as they progress through middle school to high school.

These factors contribute greatly to stress, which can bring on symptoms of depression.

We often associate common symptoms of depression with “average teenage behavior.” We see irritability and increased sleep as what’s to be expected; however, these are the most common symptoms of adolescent depression.

Misunderstanding such symptoms leads to severe mistreatment of them. Often, parents will see their irritable, exhausted, and isolated child, and label them as moody, lazy, and antisocial. This fundamental misunderstanding of the child’s experience can cause a huge divide between them and their parents, creating a cycle of stress and detachment. This mishandling of depressive symptoms works against their child, further isolating them from the most important support the world has to offer them.

This cycle can spiral out of control and lead to a parent’s worst nightmare: suicide.

Suicide is one of the scariest possibilities of adolescent depression. According to the CDC, in 2022, suicide was the second leading cause of death in people ages 10-34.

On May 9th of this year, eighteen-year-old Newberry, MI resident Nathan Wesley Seitz died by suicide. He was witty, loved, and seemingly light-hearted. He had battled depression and anxiety for years, and even with all of the help he received, he tragically died by suicide. With his passing, the question of how to further prevent and address adolescent suicide before it claims more lives has become even more urgent.

Today, more than 70% of children and adolescents go undiagnosed/untreated with serious mental illnesses, such as depression (Bhatia & Bhatia, 2007). There is no one thing that can prevent any chance of adolescent depression.

However, a study done in 2003 by the University of Queensland showed that education on emotional intelligence and problem-solving helped reduce depressive symptoms in high-risk students. Through teaching skills in identifying emotions and their causes, as well as life skills, and coping skills, researchers saw a reduction in depressive symptoms presented by the students.

After identifying key symptoms, the next step is treatment.

Treatment can start in the home. An adolescent’s relationship with their parents is key to treating and preventing depression. It is important to hold space for the adolescent to share their experiences and emotions. Though it may be tempting, it’s important to avoid lecturing by simply listening, even if the adolescent criticizes you or your parenting. It’s difficult as an adolescent to open up to one’s parents, so checking in more than once to discuss their symptoms is key to getting your child to open up.

If there are much deeper and more concerning issues, it is always encouraged to seek professional help. Therapists, counselors, and even school counselors are great resources for the adolescent and parent alike.

If you are at a loss for where to even begin, the Youth Mental Health Project has a massive list of various resources for supporting parents and adolescents through navigating depression, from forums to crisis helplines, to articles, and even other foundations focused on mental health.

The need for counselors and therapists is greater than ever today to prevent more tragic suicides in teens. This need is why Nathan Seitz’s family created a scholarship fund for high school seniors looking to pursue a four-year or more degree in psychology.

Their goal is to encourage young graduates to pursue careers in the mental health field to prevent more tragedies and suffering from occurring. One of the hardest parts of getting started in this career is the cost of college. Every penny counts to help passionate students learn how to create positive change in the lives of struggling adolescents.

Donations to support the Nathan Wesley Seitz Memorial Scholarship Fund can be submitted by mail to Nicolet Bank, 414 Newberry Ave, Newberry, MI, 49868, or through their GoFundMe page. The scholarship will be available in the spring of 2024.

Zephyrus Call is an undergraduate student at Northern Michigan University. Their major may be in business but their passion lies in writing, literature, and social issues. Their personal experience in dealing with suicidality and adolescent depression drives a special empathy toward this epidemic.

References:
Bhatia, Shashi K., M. D., and Subhash C. Bhatia M. D. “Childhood and Adolescent Depression | AAFP.” Home | AAFP, American Family Physician, 2007, https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2007/0101/p73.html.
Sheeber, Lisa, et al. “Family Processes in Adolescent Depression.” Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 2001.
Spence, Susan H., et al. “Preventing Adolescent Depression: An Evaluation of the Problem Solving For Life Program.” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, no. 1, American Psychological Association (APA), 2003, pp. 3–13. Crossref, doi:10.1037/0022-006x.71.1.3.
Melinda Smith, M. A. (2023, June 21). Parent’s Guide to Teen Depression. HelpGuide.org. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/parents-guide-to-teen-depression.htm

Positive Parenting: 17 Tips for Raising Eco-Conscious Kids

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Caring for the earth requires not only our participation, but that of the generations after us. And the sooner that begins the better! So below are seventeen tips to help raise eco-conscious kids.

1. Lead by Example: Children learn more from what you do than what you say. If you trash edible leftovers, choose plastic-wrapped produce over loose, or drive to destinations a block or two away, this may become their norm. One of the best ways to help your kids become ecologically conscious and caring now and as adults is to live this way yourself.

2. Spend Time Together Outdoors: “The single most important thing you can do to make your child aware of the environment is to spend time in it with them,” says TV presenter and author Nick Baker.(1)

“Try to replicate the experiences you had as a child…. Treat it as family time, and let them be led by their curiosity. If they have a question about something that you can’t answer, look it up together.”(2)

3. Teach Respect for Nature: Our presence in nature can affect the health of the plants and animals around us. Teach your kids why staying on trails protects ecosystems, or why a closure due to migrating salamanders or nesting birds is important to respect. View natural online webcams that show the lives of different species.

4. Shop Wisely Together: Discuss how our buying choices affect the environment. Encourage your children to choose foods with less or no packaging. Consider where foods come from and the impact of shipping distances. Compare how sustainably different products are produced.

5. Put them on Your Recycling Team: Have your kids help wash, sort, and recycle household rubbish. Describe where it goes and why that’s better than the landfill.

6. Tap Their Imagination: Engage your kids’ creativity and work together to repurpose items that would otherwise be discarded. For example, might a cereal carton become a small doll house? Old work boots be reused as planters? Metal cans as pen and pencil jars?

7. Take Indoor Time for Eco Messages: Read books and watch documentaries, TV shows, and movies with ecological messages together. Ask what they think about these stories and facts, and discuss anything they become inspired to do to help protect nature.

8. Watch Your Home Energy Usage: Talk with your kids about how to save energy and resources at home. Teach them to turn lights off when leaving a room, to unplug devices when not in use, and moderate the length of showering and toothbrushing time.

9. Enlist Their Care for Plants & Animals: Whether it’s a pet, vegetable patch, or flowerpot, teaching children to help take care of a living thing builds both eco-consciousness and a sense of responsibility. You can even set up a rain barrel to collect water with which they can nourish the plants.

10. Pick Up That Trash: Make a habit of collecting and disposing of rubbish you see on outings together, or do regular litter pickup in your area with your children and their friends, using strong gloves, bins, and litter-picking sticks. You can even tally types of trash and look at how your community might reduce this.

11. Suggest Joining a Campaign: Kids’ involvement can bring more attention to environmental issues, and their views may be taken more seriously than those of adults. Kids fo Saving Earth, founded by eleven-year-old Clinton Hill, offers many ways kids can help improve Earth’s health. Many environmental organizations also have ways to involve children.

12. Go Clubbing: Your child’s school, local garden center, or environmental organization may have a gardening or environment club, or run special holiday activities where kids learn more about taking care of our planet.

13. Reduce Car Use: You may need to drive your kids to school, or have them take the bus, but if and when walking, cycling, or scooting is possible, do it as much as you can, even if ti’sjust once or twice a week. If you must drive, consider parking five minutes away so you can walk that last part together. You’ll reduce pollution, promote your child’s eco-consciousness and health, and even get to chat on the way.

14. Aim for Zero-Waste Lunching: Choose reusable bottles inste4ad of disposable juice cartons, and PBA-free plastic containers or beeswax wrapping for sandwiches and snacks. If trash remains in your child’s lunchbox, ask them to bring it home to recycle if there’s no recycling option at school.

15. Talk Trash: Often little ones are fascinated with garbage trucks, but know nothing about where it goes. Describe what happens to trash afte4ward and where, and how this impacts our planet. Teach them about recycling and the value of composting. An occasional trip to the dump can also drive home your child’s understanding of the scale of our waste challenges.

16. Seek Local Ambassadorship: Local community groups often welcome children to join in to keep the area clean, so check out opportunities to participate.

17. Create a Family Plan: Come together and discuss how your family can live more eco-consciously. Listen to your kids’ ideas and think about how you might work together on them.

(1) https://www.theschoolrun.com/how-raise-environmentally-conscious-child

(2) Ibid.

Additional Source: https://sustainableamerica.org/blog/8-tips-for-raising-eco-conscious-kids

Positive Parenting: Fun Discoveries for All Ages at UP Children’s Museum, Marnie Foucault

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The Upper Peninsula Children’s Museum was designed by kids for kids. Yet it is still able to address the developmental stages of youth between the ages of one and thirteen, and delight visitors of all ages. Through creative youth empowerment, the museum offers cultural and educational exhibits that reflect the diverse interests, history, culture, and heritage of the area. The museum is not only for the young but also the young at heart, and unlike many museums where the exhibits are off limits, touching and interacting with the exhibits is encouraged, if not mandatory.

The exhibits are meant to be immersive. Parents and caregivers are encouraged to join their littles by exploring alongside them for pure hands-on-fun for all—children and their adults can step into an exhibit and suddenly find themselves on an archaeological dig site discovering fossils, or driving a huge mining dump trunk (wearing safety hats of course)! Kids and their adults can learn about the route of wastewater too. From boring signs? Listening to a long lecture? Nope. They can flush themselves down a huge toilet to see where the water goes!

One of the most popular exhibits for adults and children alike is the Human Body Exhibit, where learning takes place inside a grumbling stomach, sliding down the intestines (no one can resist hitting the fart button) and then scrambling up a skin-climbing wall to explore a giant head.

The museum lets its guests step into someone else’s shoes using pure imagination.

Have you gone to flight school? No matter! Everyone is allowed to sit in the cockpit to “pilot” the real jet. Kids can chart their flight to anywhere in the world, and parents can go along for the ride. Ever wanted to be on TV? Anyone at the museum can be a meteorologist and announce the weather on UPCM TV. Order up! Kid chefs run the Candy Fossil Rock Cafe and can cook you up the tastiest dish. Every exhibit allows kids to learn through touch and imagination. Parents and caregivers can use this time of active play to engage with their children and help them learn through modeling behavior.

Once kids and their adults have explored all the exhibits, the learning experience doesn’t have to end there. The museum provides year-round programming for kids and families.

Every second Thursday of the month, the museum throws a themed creativity evening aimed at preschool and elementary-aged children and their families. The themes are fun and meant to be interactive. Popular themes include Princesses and Pirates, Halloween Party, Polar Express, Dance Party, Star Wars, and many more! Costumes are always encouraged. It’s a fun-filled evening of hands-on activity stations, creative food crafts, and always a live musician. Plus it’s always free to attend.

The museum also has programs that allow kids to take on leadership roles.

8-18 Media is for kids who dream of being published. Its mission is to amplify the voices of youth through adult media. Youth eight to eighteen work in teams on issue-based stories that are printed in the Mining Journal and broadcast weekly on two radio stations. And new kid-powered podcasts are streamed on Spotify, Amazon, and Apple Podcasts.

The museum also gives kids the opportunity to join its volunteer force. Those eight to eighteen can train to become a Guardian. Once trained, Guardians are able to help guide visitors through the museum, help manage the museum’s animals, and assist with special events like Second Thursday Creativity Series by helping model crafts or scooping up the frozen custard for the museum’s guests.

For more info on the Upper Peninsula Children’s Museum’s full list of exhibits and programming, please visit http://www.childrensmuseum.org or call (906) 226-3911.

Marnie Foucault is the Director of 8-18 Media at the UP Children’s Museum and resides in Marquette with her husband and daughter. She enjoys tennis, hiking, reading, and spending time with family and friends.

Positive Parenting: How You Can Help Young Women & the World through STEM, Chris Standerford

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Did you know you can help young women increase their ability to create a prosperous, satisfying future for themselves and others through STEM?

As defined by Michigan, STEM stands for science, technology, engineering, and mathematics delivered in an integrated fashion using cross-disciplinary learning experiences that can include language arts, performing and fine arts, and career and technical education.

By this definition, STEM is an integrated and authentic range of subjects and skills that work together and help us understand the world and find solutions to the problems we see. Put another way, humans are a part of both the natural and social worlds. Our curiosities and passions rely on skills such as observing, noticing patterns, understanding cause and effect, experimenting, troubleshooting, and so many more. These skills can bring joy and success to the things we love. And these skills are STEM skills.

As parents, we can help our youth recognize the parts of their identity that are deeply connected to STEM.

In fact, our communities need our help to inspire youth, particularly our young female students, to see themselves as capable, passionate, and successful in STEM.

Whether you love gardening, painting, tinkering in the workshop, yoga, paddling, camping, cooking, playing video games, performing, or lounging on the beach, STEM is a part of these experiences, and often adds a depth and a beauty to them. For example, when you garden, through understanding the needs of the plants you’re raising, you’re constantly learning and appreciating your garden ecosystem’s complexity and how amazing those plants truly are, much more so than if you simply picked up the same vegetables from the grocery store. As community members, parents, and teachers we can help our children realize that the things they love to do are in fact how they are making sense of the world.

To get started, let’s break down our actions into three simple things that might help us inspire our youth, particularly our young females, to consider STEM in their futures: Things we need to know, things we need to say, and things we need to do.

Things We Need to Know

As parents, mentors, and role models, we need to believe everyone can find joy, and yes, even a career in STEM so that the many complex issues facing the world today (i.e. social justice, medicine/health, energy, food shortages, climate change, etc.) can be better addressed. We need to first recognize that our own hobbies and interests are deeply connected to STEM in ways we perhaps haven’t fully acknowledged yet.

We also need to recognize and be aware of current trends and opportunities in STEM. Despite gains in the number of women pursuing some STEM careers, according to the National Center for Educational Statistics, women are proportionately half as likely as men to major in math, computer science, science, engineering, and technology. These fields are fast-growing, often more lucrative than those that were considered “women’s fields,” and in need of diverse ways of thinking. From data science to cybersecurity to advanced manufacturing, the need for talent and innovation is unprecedented.

Things We Need to Say

How we communicate is important; our choice of words matter. As parents, mentors, and role models, we must be diligent in how we talk about STEM with our children. First, we can communicate that it’s not about being ‘good at math or science,’ or finding the ‘correct answer.’ Rather, it’s about learning through our experiences and using our senses to notice things in the world, using our curiosity to ask questions about what we see, and leveraging multiple sources of information (i.e. text, conversations, pictures, experiences, models, etc.) to develop our ideas.

Second, it is hugely important to caution ourselves against sharing our own bias with students and unconsciously portraying STEM as difficult, overly technical, being largely for boys, or some of us not being good at it.

Have you ever heard an adult colleague, friend, or perhaps yourself say, “I was never very good at math”? This comment is easily spoken, but can leave a lasting impression on young minds. Much research has been done about the influence of our beliefs as a factor in feeling confident in our abilities in a subject.

We need to do better to foster a strength-based mindset when we talk about STEM with students. Start with what children enjoy and accomplish well, highlighting those skills and building toward new learning and new skills over time.

Things We Need to Do

As parents, mentors, and role models, we need to seek out opportunities for children to have supplemental STEM experiences outside of school. These experiences can be organized camps offered through local libraries, churches, science or nature centers, non-profits, museums, schools and universities, or simple, impromptu nature walks with family.

By encouraging students to make observations, look for patterns, and talk about what they are thinking, we open up their STEM mindset. We don’t need to have all the answers to their questions. We simply need to be willing to ask our youth to say more about their thinking, and to encourage them to develop their ideas and understanding.

If you are looking for more formal experiences, there are many resources in the Upper Peninsula and across the state to explore. The list below offers potential first steps, and connecting with your regional MiSTEM director may also help.

• Northern Michigan University Camps, Student Programs, and STEM degrees
• Michigan Technological University Camps, Student Programs, and STEM degrees
• Michigan Council of Women in Technology (MCWT) – K-12 Initiative
• Michigan Women Forward (MWF) – Empower Girls & HERstory
• STEMinista Project
• Photo Essay: Women in STEM from The Michigan Daily
• Michigan Learning Channel STEM for girls content: Future of Me – Explore STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) careers; Career Girls – Career guidance videos

Chris Standerford serves as one of sixteen Regional Directors for the Michigan STEM (MiSTEM) Network. He works to connect, convene, and collaborate with stakeholders from business, community, and education. Mr. Standerford also serves as the director of the Seaborg Math & Science Center at NMU.

Positive Parenting: Planning a Family-Friendly Food Forest, Aster Michelsen

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Think back to the last time you relaxed or played in nature. The calming presence of trees… the rich aroma of earth…the invigorating tickle of sand or grass on your feet.

As with the arts, nature immersion provides a healing experience for mind, body, and spirit. You may even agree that it’s an essential element in the art of life!

While time outdoors is good for everyone, the benefits for children are especially compelling. Hundreds of studies show that spending time in nature is essential for their development, including helping them develop:

A stronger immune system
Improved cognitive development
Better memory and attentiveness
Lower risk of myopia
Lower stress hormones
And many more benefits

Sadly, children are spending less time outdoors in nature than ever before. And it’s taking its toll in skyrocketing levels of childhood obesity, attention difficulties, depression, and other physical and mental disorders.

A Natural Solution

Most parents don’t intentionally separate kids from nature. It’s a byproduct of the world we live in. Gone are the days when parents could safely let their kids roam the neighborhood unsupervised. And with most parents now working full time, it can be tricky to find time for a daily nature walk between juggling work, school, after-school activities, and life in general. Fortunately, there’s a very simple (and delightful) solution: plant a food forest in your backyard!

What Is a Food Forest?

Permaculture food forests, or forest gardens, are becoming the next big trend in landscape design. The concept is simple: an attractive woodsy garden that provides an abundance of food right in your backyard. Food forest design aims to mimic the beauty and feel of a natural woodland area—with the added benefit of providing fresh, healthy, delicious food for your family. For kids, this can be life changing.

Why Plant a Food Forest for Your Family?

Food forests provide nourishment for mind, body, and spirit. The three main benefits of a backyard forest garden are:

Clean, healthy food: Perennial plants such as berry bushes, hazelnut shrubs, and fruit trees produce a yield of uber-fresh produce year after year without toxic sprays or intensive labor.

Low-maintenance beauty: Just as traditional landscaping beautifies a space, so do forest gardens. Food forests often include flowering plants, shrubs, and trees that attract essential pollinators such as butterflies. It’s food for the eyes!

Sanctuary space: Forest gardens provide a safe environment for the whole family to play, relax, and gather. Plus, unlike a hike in the woods, you don’t have to worry about getting lost!

Kid-Friendly Food Forest Design Tips

Mindful planning helps ensure that your food forest meets the needs of both plants and people! Planning a food forest with children in mind can be a lot of fun. But there are a few things to think about that adults might overlook.

Safety

We can’t talk about family friendly food forests without touching on safety. This can become a bit of a gray area because each child has different needs. For example, incorporating a pond may work well for older children, but can pose a drowning risk to babies and toddlers.

One safety element that stands out for all ages is a fence. Adding a fence around your forest garden gives children a clear boundary and helps them feel confident that they are safe within the garden space. It’s also a great support for climbing vines such as arctic kiwis, pole beans, or grapes!

Another important consideration is plant toxicity. Some food plants, such as rhubarb, may have toxic parts. Use your discretion and either avoid these plants or take care to teach your children respect for them.

Incorporate the Senses

Kids are meant to interact with the world around them. A food forest gives them every opportunity!

When planning your forest garden:

Think about fall and spring color as well as different visual textures.
Incorporate the wonderful aromas of many herbs and flowers. Kids love them!
Add wind chimes or bird-attracting plants to create a musical garden.

Because all the plants in a food forest are edible, children can also explore taste in a safe way. A food forest garden is also the perfect place for sensory play. Consider adding sensory materials for children to play with, such as sand and potting soil. You may be surprised at all the creative things kids will do with earth, flowers, twigs, and seeds as inspiration!

Sanctuary Space for Kids

Sanctuary space for adults may look like a space for mindful meditation or hanging out with friends, but children’s sanctuary needs can look quite different.

Incorporating structures for hiding and/or climbing can make children feel more at home. This could be a temporary structure like a sunflower house, or a more permanent space such as a treehouse or a clearing inside a circle of shrubs. Or, help them create a fairy garden or a little playhouse for their dolls or trucks tucked under the leaves.

As Children Grow

As kids grow up, their needs change. A five-year-old may love making mud pies, but a teenager? Probably not. When planning a backyard food forest, consider not just your family’s needs in the moment, but also five or ten years down the road.

One of the best ways to do this is to involve the whole family in the planning process. And if you have a family friend who is a few years older than your own children, consider consulting them too!

Planning Your Family Friendly Food Forest

A well-thought-out food forest plan, or blueprint, can make the essential difference between a bunch of plants thrown in the ground and a beautiful, practical forest garden that will provide maximum enjoyment and yield for your family for years to come.

Consulting with a certified permaculture designer can be a valuable investment in ensuring your food forest benefits your family in the best ways possible. But whether you purchase a blueprint design or dig in and do it yourself, don’t forget to include your kids in the planning. Kids are natural artists. You may be amazed at the creativity they bring to your backyard food forest garden!

Aster Michelsen is co-owner of Great Lakes Food Forest Abundance, an Upper Peninsula edible landscaping company. For more information about UP food forests, edible landscape, and building resilient human and natural communities through gardening, visit us at GreatLakesFFA.com.

Positive Parenting: The Power of Connection, Kristine Petterson

parenting tips, connecting with your kids, mindful parenting, holistic wellness, U.P. holistic business, U.P. wellness publication

Parenting through the ups-and-downs of our pandemic times can be quite challenging, with ever-changing situations—school open, school closed; mask on, mask off; quarantines on or off, shortened or lengthened, along with all of our health concerns, and loss of loved ones, in-person connection, social activities, and more. It can really take its toll on us, our children, and our parenting.

Perhaps you started 2022 out with hopes of building more connection with your kids, or having more peace in your life and household, but have since found yourself tearing your hair out at some point in the day, or cramming in all those needed chores and collapsing exhausted at night. Yet connecting mindfully can make all the difference in enjoying our lives and relationships despite the challenges.

What is this whole connection thing, really? While connection is described as a link or relationship between people, ideas or things, I like to quote Dr. Brené Brown in my Mindful Parenting program: “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

This connection business is powerful stuff.

I resisted it for a long time thinking I just didn’t have time or energy for one more thing. Now I know that connection is not something extra you have to do; it’s just making a choice to do all the things differently. Whether it’s family dinner, scrubbing your shrieking child’s hair in the bath (we’ve all been there, right?), buying groceries, pumping gas, or even cleaning house. We can rush through our whole day feeling resentful and undone, or we can take each step with love, looking for magical moments to connect with self and others.

It’s helpful to acknowledge that, at first, creating deep mindful connection habits takes work, focus, and awareness throughout your day-to-day grind. For me, it also requires a commitment to reversing downward “should spirals” so that I can put the stuff of life on hold to truly see and be seen. I used to think some people were just born into a life of calm and ease and deep eye-gazing, and other people (like me) were born running around like chickens with their heads cut off and never really seeing anything other than the next check box on the never-ending to-do list.

What I’ve learned is that connecting meaningfully is a muscle you build. Step by step, I found I was able to apply strategies to my relationships with myself, partner, friends, kids, and clients that cultivated connection and deepened the fun we had. I took lots of detours on this journey, so I’ve broken down what I feel is the easiest path to powerful connection here for you.

Pause

Slowing down is key, and also really hard to do if you’re not in the habit. I actually had to get ridiculously deliberate about making space for connection, but now the practices that felt difficult and disjointed are comfortable, and I feel irritation and resistance when I don’t stick to them.

It might look like:
• Setting a timer several times a day to just check in with your breath or to put your hand on your chest to see if you can feel your heartbeat.

• Making a sign to put up in rooms where you usually feel rushed and frustrated (for me it’s the kitchen) that says “Stop. Breathe. What about life is beautiful right now?”

• Putting your phone on its charger for a few hours each day so you can connect with certain tasks and people without distraction.

Notice

Check in with what you are thinking and feeling when the timer goes off or you see that sign. Are you frantic and weighed down by the dozens of tasks on your list? Exhausted by the never-ending work of keeping up appearances?

It might look like:

• “I’m overwhelmed by all that I have to do today.”

• “I feel hungry or thirsty or need to move my body right now.”

• “I’m feeling really lonely, yet I’m surrounded by people.”

• “I’m holding my breath, rushing from one thing to the next, as if that will help me go faster.”

Connect

Make a conscious connection to what you want to be thinking and feeling in this moment—you don’t have to change what you’re doing. Keep chopping veggies or mopping the floor and look for something kinder, easier, and more joyful to connect to in that moment.

It might look like:

• Shifting from hate-cleaning to connection cleaning—turn on some tunes, take a deep breath, and sparkle up the home you love.

• Asking loud obnoxious children to play a game outside while you breathe easy and enjoy making dinner in peace and quiet.

• Calling your grumpy child (or partner for that matter) over for a hug and a deep breath. Bonus points if you do it without saying a word—just smile and look them in the eye.

Will they think you’ve been smoking something?

It’s possible. And honestly, these practices can provide a wonderful rush. The hormones created by connection are the real deal and don’t cost anything. I cringe to think about how much beauty and sweetness I missed when I was focused on the miserable acts of doing, cleaning, and box-checking. I know I tend to get distracted by the never-ending emails, errands, and obligations, but that I’m going to do the work to slow down and connect to the everyday magic along the way.

Petterson lives in Moscow, Idaho with her husband and their two children. She left public education to become a yoga instructor, sleep specialist, and mindful parenting educator. She can be contacted via her website at http://www.kristinepetterson.com.

Bodies in Motion: PRCA-Cooling Cabin Fever & Empowering Kids

Parents, do you ever feel like your kids are climbing the walls, especially in the cold winter months? It’s common to spend more time cooped up inside once the snow starts to fly, though of course there are plenty of fun ways to get outside, such as skiing, snowshoeing, or building a snowman. A new way you could consider getting the kiddos out and moving is trying the sport of ice climbing—yep, an organized way to “climb the walls”!

The Pictured Rocks Climbing Academy, or PRCA for short, is a Michigan non-profit that provides low-cost rock and ice climbing opportunities to Upper Peninsula youth ages 7-18. They are based in Marquette and rock climb in the Marquette area in summer, and ice climb around Munising in the winter. The PRCA was established in 2016 when world-renowned alpinist Conrad Anker noticed no local kids were ice climbing at Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore. At that year’s annual Michigan Ice Festival, money was fundraised to start the PRCA.

Since then, the PRCA has gone full steam ahead with all things climbing! The PRCA prides itself on providing not only climbing opportunities to those who might not otherwise have them, but also fostering community and stewardship for its members. From guided outdoor rock and ice climbing, volunteer opportunities at local events, weekly indoor group climbs during the school year, yoga, attending climbing festivals in the Midwest, and more, the PRCA provides unique experiences to UP youth. No gear or experience is required to climb with the PRCA, and membership costs are low, with scholarships available to those who need one.

For many, climbing is much more than just a sport—it’s a lifelong pursuit that connects them with wild places, a strong community, and opportunities to constantly learn. Climbing pushes you to trust yourself and those around you, constantly learn and adapt, and widen your comfort zone. Climbing also promotes positive mental and physical health, such as improved strength and balance, and higher feelings of self-sufficiency. The PRCA is run by volunteers with years of climbing experience who teach these values and experiences to UP youth.

With climbing’s rising popularity, thanks to more gyms opening across the country and the sport being featured for the first time in the Olympics, it’s important to understand the mentorship aspect the sport has compared to other outdoor pursuits. Climbing is inherently dangerous, and historically was taught almost strictly through mentorship. These days people can get started climbing in the gym, through online videos, etc. While it’s great to have these more widely accessible resources available, without mentorship it’s possible to have gaps in knowledge and safety. The PRCA helps serve as a bridge for this mentorship gap.

Safety is the number one concern of the PRCA. All guided rock and ice outings are facilitated by Michigan Ice Fest Guides. These guides have taken and passed one or more guiding courses and assessments run by the internationally recognized and accredited American Mountain Guides Association. The PRCA teaches youth many things—climbing movement, gear use, anchor systems, belaying, and more—all adjusted to the age and experience level of the climbers participating.

So, parents, if your kids are interested in a new way to recreate outside, face fears of heights, be more active in community stewardship, or just want to try something new, check out the Pictured Rocks Climbing Academy.

To get involved with the PRCA, reach out through their website’s “Contact Us” page. If you’re over eighteen and would like to volunteer, don’t hesitate to reach out as well!

Website: picturedrocksclimbingacademy.org
Facebook/Instagram: @picturedrocksclimbingacademy

Laura Slavsky (she/her) grew up in Marquette, MI and began climbing in 2014. She has guided ice climbing clinics at Michigan Ice Fest, is a Community Ambassador for the national climbing non-profit Access Fund, and has volunteered with the Pictured Rocks Climbing Academy since 2019.

An Alarming Trend in Kids—What Great Lakes Recovery Centers & We Can Do About It

Many call the U.P. “God’s Country,” and see it as a great place to raise kids. Good reasons for this abound, however, our kids have become increasingly endangered by a threat many of us may not easily see—suicide.

The most recent U.P. Community Needs Assessment reports that suicide related calls to Dial Help in the U.P. tripled between 2010 and 2017. The U.P’s suicide rate for 10 to 24 year olds was 14.2 per 100,000 residents, while the average for Michigan was 7.9. And stressors have only increased since then.

As Great Lakes Recovery Centers (GLRC) Foundation Coordinator Amy Poirier explains, “If someone’s having suicidal thoughts, it’s not one thing, one incident behind it. Multiple factors can be involved.”

“I see what’s happening with our kids,” Poirier continues. “They don’t know what life will be like from day to day. It’s hard for kids right now. Every day, kids are seeing their friends being quarantined or needing to be tested. What goes on in the minds of all those kids—is my name, my friend’s name, my teacher’s name going to be on that list? The stress that they’re going through right now is unbelievable. And that’s just COVID, that’s not even counting the everyday life stressors of a teenager.”

Poirier facilitates the West End Suicide Prevention coalition.

She is also very active in the Marquette County Suicide Prevention Alliance, is one of the Marquette County Suicide Prevention Walk coordinators, teaches suicide prevention courses, and works with social media and community outreach.

“We’re trying to break down the stigma around mental health,” describes Poirier. “Between one in 4 or 5 people are suffering from mental illness, yet there’s so much stigma, and no one wants to talk about it. Our goal is to open up the conversation, normalize it, help people realize ‘It’s not just me. There are also a lot of other people out there that are having this problem. We can get help, help one another, and get professional help too.’”

GLRC coordinates several of the U.P.’s Communities That Care evidence-based coalitions that work to reduce kids’ risk factors. Nearly all of these have a suicide prevention work group. The West End Suicide Prevention coalition, a diverse group of people on the west end of Marquette County, developed LIVE, a positive mental health campaign (Love yourself, Include others, Value life, Engage community) which was brought to the entire Upper Peninsula through a grant from the Superior Health Foundation.

GLRC helps coordinate and teach various suicide prevention courses throughout the U.P.

GLRC also works with many U.P. schools to help reduce the stigma around mental health issues, and on any suicide prevention activities the school might want to do. The LIVE Art & Word contest for high schoolers to support suicide awareness and prevention efforts was just completed on Nov. 15th. Seven cash prizes will be awarded, including a $500 grand prize. You can vote for your favorite visual art, word, and song entries at West End Suicide Prevention’s Facebook page.

GLRC also opened Child & Adolescent Psychiatric Services in Ispheming a couple of years ago to help address the unmet psychiatric needs of kids with mild to moderate mental health issues who don’t necessarily qualify for community mental health services. This includes Trauma Development Assessment to look at where a child’s development is at due to trauma they may have experienced, psychiatric evaluation, medication management, parent education, different types of therapies, and psychiatric consultations.

However, with an issue as pressing as children’s suicide prevention, support is needed across the community. Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, work with children, or not, below are some ways you can help.

Take part in a suicide prevention gatekeeper training course, such as:

Mental Health First Aid – An evidence-based, free eight-hour course for adults only. Instructors from GLRC and other agencies teach you a five-step process to help someone who’s having a crisis, whether it involves suicide, anxiety, depression, psychosis, eating disorders, or substance abuse. You can sign-up at GLRC.org/mhfa. Once enough people register, a course is organized.

QPR (Question Persuade Refer) – A one-hour course that can also be presented to adolescents (as young as 12) and adults. This course is often taught in schools. Parents can ask if their school has this program.

ASIST Training – Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training for anyone in the community. No prior training is required. DIAL HELP, a U.P. center that provides crisis support 24/7 by phone, text or chat, will hold the next one Nov. 18th and 19th in Hancock. Contact Krissy Martens at kmartens@dialhelp.org to register.

Promote the LIVE campaign – Put up a decal in the window of your home or business, keep informational cards on hand for someone who might need the national suicide hotline number. If they are local, the call goes straight to DIAL HELP. To receive these items, call the GLRC Foundation office at (906) 523-9688 or talk to any member of West End Suicide Prevention.
Support and be present at locally held events such as suicide prevention walks and Walk a Mile in Our Shoes.

Get involved in a community coalition. Almost every U.P. county has a suicide prevention-related group. Contact Amy Poirier at (906) 523-9688, apoirier@greatlakesrecovery.org for info on a coalition near you, or go to glrc.org/wesp to learn more about West End Suicide Prevention.

If you’re concerned your child or a child you know may be having suicidal thoughts or feelings, talk to the child. Get them the help they need, and help the child as well as their parent understand that they’re not alone.

Before you get to that point, if you have a kid or know anybody (child or adult), take one of the free suicide prevention courses.

You can also join a free and confidential parent support group–the Parents Support Network of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. It meets for an hour and a half each month, currently virtually, and is peer-led by facilitators that have had experience with their own kids’ mental health concerns.

Note from the editor: We are very pleased to announce that Health & Happiness U.P. Magazine’s 2021 annual donation is going to Great Lakes Recovery Centers’ children’s suicide prevention and awareness efforts. For a list of businesses that have helped support this donation, click here.

Positive Parenting: Mental Health Red Flags

U.P. holistic wellness, children's mental health, U.P. holistic wellness publication, positive parenting

How often have you or someone you know been shocked to discover that a child in your midst is suffering from a significant mental health disorder? The National Institute of Mental Health explains that in 2017, 9.4% of US 12 to 17 year olds, an estimated 2.3 million, had at least one major depressive episode with severe impairment. And, according to childtrends.org, “While research on the pandemic’s effects on mental health is still in the early stages, current evidence shows a surge in anxiety and depression among children and adolescents since the pandemic began.”

“When we have less positives going on in our life and more negatives, it increases our stress, MARESA (Marquette-Alger Regional Education Service Agency) school social worker Ann Lacombe explains. At the age a lot of the students I see are at, interactions with peers or sports or people overall is their main positive. When something that’s really fun is taken away from you, it can be rough. I’ve seen a change in the mood of students. They’re dealing with different stressors than they’ve ever had to deal with before. Organized sports are a good environment for making new friends. Being without that made this a really difficult year for students to organically make new friends. Lunch and recess had to be less social than in past years for everyone’s safety. A lot of the fun times students looked forward to looked very different for them.

When a child is suffering from a mental health disorder, the sooner we can step in and support them, the better. LaCombe says red flags to be on the alert for include:

Avoiding or missing activities the child used to engage in–sports, time with friends, school in general
Changes in sleep patterns—way too much or not at all
Changes in eating habits—sudden weight loss or gain
Sudden changes in mood—observing body language and facial expressions
Hurting themselves or talking about hurting themselves or talking about death
Withdrawing from social interactions in general
Sudden changes in friendships
Substance use
Change in performance overall—sudden failing grades, withdrawal from effort in anything

“Trust your gut. I think parents know their kids best. If you get a sense something’s not right, a great first step is approaching the child and saying, ‘Hey, I’m worried about you, and I care about you. How can I support you right now?’ You can open that door to communicating with you and trusting you, even if you don’t get much response right away,” says LaCombe. “Focus on not being judgmental, and no matter what they tell you, not being overly reactive. Let your child know ‘I’m not here to judge you or get you in trouble. I just want to help. I hope you can be honest with me about what’s going on.’ Then look into what additional support may help your child.”

“You can check whether your child’s school guidance counselor has noticed any changes in your child’s behavior, and see what options they may have at school or in the community. If he or she doesn’t want to go to school because of a conflict with a peer, connect with the school on this. Otherwise, meeting with your primary care doctor can be a great place to start so you can get their thoughts and recommendations on where to go. They’ll be able to look at a list of providers that your insurance covers, and also check if something medical is contributing to what your child’s experiencing. Often the first things students with anxiety notice are physical signs—‘My heart is pounding, and I just feel shaky and dizzy.’ This way the doctor can make sure there’s nothing else causing those symptoms outside of a mental health challenge,” adds LaCombe.

Parents can also contact their school’s social worker. LaCombe says, “If we don’t immediately have an idea of a resource in the community, we’ll get back to them with a resource or article, and look at how else we can support them if we don’t have an answer right away. When parents reach out right away and are interested in making some changes at home, we can see improvements so quickly. It’s so helpful for them to reach out, even if it’s just asking questions and for resources. We’re happy to do that.”

Another resource is North Care Network, which can do a screening to see if you qualify for community mental health services, and if not, point you to other options available.

LaCombe reminds, “There’s nothing wrong with asking someone if there’s something going on, or saying that we’re worried. We’re often worried about offending, or hurting, or annoying the person. Even if it’s something small we’re noticing, even if they say no, it’s worth bringing up. Make sure you’re opening that door. Let your child know, ‘I’m worried about you; I care about you.’ They may not be ready to talk about it yet. Let them know ‘I am here and am ready to talk about this whenever you’re ready. You’re never going to be in trouble for talking with me about this.’ Opening the door is the most important thing in those initial conversations.”

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/major-depression

Positive Parenting: How to Keep Kids Active, Engaged & Learning This Summer, Jamie Hutchinson

positive parenting, U.P. holistic wellness publication, pandemic parenting advice

So, we’re home with our children, and we are limited in what outings we can do. Now what? How do we keep our kids active at home? How do we keep them engaged in learning? How do we come out of this summer feeling like we did our best, especially as we may be working from home at the same time?

As we gear up for the season in these challenging times, it’s important to acknowledge that each family will have their own very unique work and home situation. Some people may have more flexibility, more caregivers in the home, or older children who are more independent. Others may have less flexibility, younger children, and may be the sole caretaker of those children. We honor all of you, and know that you are doing the best you can. The following suggestions are offered as a starting point for consideration while navigating having children home and working at home this summer.

Children thrive on structure. They do best with routine. Create one for your family that will give children some academic time, active time, and FUN time. Also build in some time for you and your work, and you and the other supportive people in your life. Of course, as you create order, create some flexibility too. This will help everyone adapt.

Keep the routines. Do you have a set bath time? Bedtime? Mealtime? Keep these times consistent. It will allow everyone to feel some sense of normalcy. It also allows our brains some breathing room. Change is taxing on all of our brains.

Get outside!

This is really important to do when and where you can. Being out in nature resets our mind and body in so many ways. If you can go outside to a place that does not have a lot of people, then do it. Do you have a yard? Use it.

Have a family meeting to discuss the situation and the structure you are implementing. Ask every family member to step up the best they can. Emphasize that you are all doing this together, as a family.

Be creative and make some memories!

Maybe you make a fort and read books together, perhaps you have a picnic dinner in the living room while blasting your favorite music. This will be challenging, this will be new, but we can still have fun. Actually, fun is essential in keeping our stress levels manageable. Did you know that belly-laughs are therapeutic?

Managing your stress will help your kids manage theirs. Your children will look to see how you are managing everything. Taking care of yourself is the best way to be sure you have something left to give to your family and your work. You are important. You are worth taking care of.

Do you need some ideas to mix things up? Here you go! Write a book, have a family game night, hold a movie marathon, make a craft with household materials, write a rap! There are no limits.

Build in learning with activities.

We all need to eat, right? Cooking together is a fun way to practice practical math. Double a recipe, measure, add, figure out how many servings you will be making. Take the things you do, such as bedtime stories, and ask some reflective questions after you read. What was the most surprising part of this story? Which character do you relate to the most? How many pages are there? Anything that is age appropriate is helpful.

Speaking of learning…there are free online educational programs available while schools are closed. I like Kahn Academy and PBS Kids. If they are going to be on their tablets more, you can make it educational.

What about activity? Adults need 30 minutes of physical activity a day, children need at least an hour, preschoolers need three hours a day. Get creative. Have a dance party in the living room, use the Wii Fit if you have one, make activity stations around the house and rotate them for two minutes each. For example, kitchen: jumping jacks, living room: sit ups, dining room: wall presses, and so on. The main idea is to stay active. A healthy body and a healthy mind are connected. The healthier you stay, the better you will feel.

Work together.

Thinking of doing something fun? Share the list of fun active things to do at home and let the kids choose. Swap menu planning and chef duties among each other. Take turns caring for pets. This will give you some variety, and be an example of how everyone is working together.

Stay connected.

Schedule times you can reflect with your colleagues via teams or Zoom. Pick up the phone and check in on someone you work with to see how they are doing. Connect with your family via Skype or over the phone. Just because we are may be physically distanced does not mean we should not be connected. It will take us all working together to finish getting through this.

You are doing your best. Have compassion for yourself and others. We can get through this.

Deputy Director of the MSU WorkLife Office. Jaimie Hutchinson holds a BA in Psychology from Michigan State University, a MA in Community Counseling from the University of Northern Colorado, is a licensed professional counselor, licensed school counselor, and holds a Global Career Development Facilitator certification.