Senior Viewpoint: Elders + Youth Increase Happiness Quotient, by Barb Dupras

What can be sweeter than a tender, intimate moment shared between a grandchild and the grandparent, or a senior and a young one? This contact not only brings delight to the child but also a cherished moment for the senior. Why is this so important, especially in today’s world, and how can we nurture or create these experiences today?

Generations ago, having extended family was part of life; those relationships grew and developed over a lifetime. In today’s world, with people living thousands of miles away from each other, it is more difficult to maintain those relationships in a close way. The intimacy and learning can be lost.

There is now more awareness of the importance for the younger generation to learn about the different stages of life through contact with the elderly. And because of the age difference, children learn important social skills. So activities have been created to give children who wouldn’t ordinarily have this opportunity time with older adults.

There are a variety of such options here in the U.P. Some churches’ youth programs include trips to nursing homes, particularly around the holidays. A children’s group calls Bingo at Valenti Nursing Home once a month. Foster Grandparents in Gladstone, sponsored by Escanaba’s Community Action Board, brings grandparents into schools to play with and read to children. The Bridges program, run by Pathways Community Mental Health, pairs at-risk youth with developmentally disabled adults in weekly meetings with activities. Marquette’s Peter White Public Library offers the Book Babies program, in which seniors/adults read to youngsters. Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Marquette always has openings to match seniors/adults with young people needing that relationship.

Interesting programs across the country are also bringing generations together. One such is All Seasons Preschool in Minnesota. The preschool is housed inside a senior living building, providing daily opportunities for those precious relationships to flourish. All Seasons Preschool’s philosophy is that “. . . quality of life is enhanced when all generations live and work together.” Daily activities with seniors include storytime, active games, cooking, and rhythm band.

Being around the seniors brings out the best behaviors in the children. Just being aware of another’s needs leads children to modify their behavior around the seniors. For example, those who were usually overly active slowed down. Children also learned about the differences in older people – wrinkled skin, white hair, can’t see/hear well, memory problems – learning empathy as a result. Long term studies have also showed improved vocabulary and advanced social skills result from these relationships. All Season Preschool has been so successful overall that developers interested in replicating this model elsewehere have been contacting the school.

As much as the younger generation needs the wisdom and patience of the older generation, the older generation needs the innocence and vitality of the young ones. At All Seasons Preschool, seniors who didn’t usually participate in activities came out of their shells once the children were present. Spending time with children helps to alleviate boredom, loneliness, and feelings of helplessness. How can you be depressed when a lively young one is in your presence?

Margaret Mead stated, “Somehow we have to get older people back close to growing children if we are to restore a sense of community, a knowledge of the past, and a sense of the future.”

As this country values independence, too many people feel dependence is a weakness. Seniors concerned about being a burden on their families do not ask for help. As a result, they tend to isolate, become detached. If we are to handle the increasing proportion of seniors in a life-giving way, we need to prioritize bringing them back into community. Too many seniors are lonely and alone, and too many children are deprived of this vital connection. Playing with electronics is not a substitute for a loving intimate relationship with a wisdom-filled older person.

Those interested in learning more about inter-generational activities may want to explore Generations United (www.generationsunited.org), the only national membership organization devoted to the well-being of the younger and older generation and building bridges between them. More such ideas are also described at http://www.legacyproject.org. Legacy Project is a “big picture learning and social innovation project” that includes community building through activities connecting generations.

So what do grandparents in our community have to say? One grandma who has a close relationship with her young granddaughter discussed the difference between parent-child and grandparent-grandchild relationships. Parents are often distracted with their own worries or have limited time. This grandmother feels that because she is not responsible for her granddaughter 24/7, she is more relaxed, focused and present; she can be at her best with her.

Several grandmothers told me they love to play pretend with their grandchildren. One described how her grandson loves to come into bed with her in the morning to play pretend octopus, whale or other sea creatures or animals together, which builds imagination along with learning. She also loves to sing with her grandson, making sure to sing in his range so he’ll be more comfortable singing along. She also feels it’s important to continue the stories of the past. She tells stories that came from her mother, and talks about what it was like growing up in a different era to educate her grandson on his lineage.

Grandparents have the unique opportunity to pass along their wisdom – in whatever way it comes through. If you are fortunate enough to have a grandchild, have fun nurturing your relationship with him or her, and know you play an important part in shaping a little life!

Barb Dupras is a retired Senior Center social worker and an energy healing practitioner who enjoys living on the Chocolay River

Senior Viewpoint: Going Through Extremes, by Barb Dupras

One thing I love about the U.P. is the unpredictability of the weather. As they say, if you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes. I also love the contrasting seasons. But this winter’s subzero temperatures have shown us what it feels like to be in such an extreme condition. Our bodies deal with these temperatures in their own ways, but people of later years need to pay particular attention in order to stay safe and healthy in this type of weather. Extreme summer temperatures also can be an issue. This article will describe ways to help the elderly with challenging winter and summer temperatures .

Changing weather affects conditions that are common in seniors such as arthritis. Do you ever wonder why joints seem to hurt more at certain times, especially when there is a change in the weather? Dr. Mark Gourley of the National Institute of Health explains that the pressure in the joints changes as the weather changes. Think of the tissues surrounding the joints as balloons. When the air pressure decreases, the balloon expands a little, putting pressure on the joints which can create discomfort. Some say they can predict changing weather by pain in their joints and they are right! Dr. Gourley suggests the following to ease the discomfort when the temperature goes down:

Keep warm by bundling yourself in several layers from head to toe.
Be sure your home is kept warm and also preheat your car before entering it.
Warm your clothing by putting it in the dryer before dressing.
Sleeping with an electric blanket can be helpful.
Drinking hot liquids also keeps the body warm.
Before going out in the cold, exercise the affected joints.
Maintaining a regular movement program is helpful for loosening stiff joints while helping to prevent winter weight gain and the stress this can add to painful joints.

Respiratory problems such as rheumatoid lung disease and asthma can be affected by breathing extremely cold air. If you have any condition that affects your lung capacity, wearing a face mask and/or covering your mouth to help warm the air you breathe may help you cope with frigid temperatures.

Often seniors fear slipping and falling on ice. For those with osteoporosis, this is of even greater concern because more porous bones can fracture easily. It’s probably best to stay indoors when conditions are icy. If you need to venture out, prepare yourself. Putting ice grippers on the bottom of boots, shoes and canes is a wonderful way to help prevent falls. Call your local medical supply store to inquire about these.

Over time, burrowing inside to escape low temperatures can negatively impact one’s mood. Depression can affect anyone, but seniors are especially at risk in winter as they’re less active and more confined to their homes. The lack of sunlight in our area during winter can also be a factor. If you or your loved one typically feel low in the winter, you may want to try using a full spectrum light for a period of time daily to improve mood and energy level. I use the Verilux Happy Light, which can be found online.

Planning stimulating indoor activities before winter hits can also assist. Really delve into your interest. Stained glass? Painting? See what online and community classes are available to you.

Keeping in touch with loved ones is also uplifting. Try Skyping, a free video conference call over the computer with your loved ones. Look into different ways to keep in touch.

Another way to beat the blues is to exercise. Whatever your activity level, even if you’re in a wheelchair, find a program that suits your needs and keeps your body moving.

So plan for a better winter – make an intention!! Hindsight is always good, but foresight is even better!

Now for the other side of the weather spectrum – heat! Seniors frequently have a medical condition or are on a medication that can affect the body’s cooling system and ability to perspire. Certain psychotropic medications can also affect a person’s ability to feel extreme heat. It’s important to check on senior loved ones frequently during this time. Here are some guidelines that may be helpful:

Make sure the senior rides out the heat in an air-conditioned environment – if not at home, then at the senior center, neighbors home, library, etc.
Encourage your senior loved one to drink plenty of water.
Check on your loved one twice a day. If you are at a long distance, you can Skype to know he or she is safe. Seeing your loved one sometimes is better, as one can hide distress in the voice.
Have a back-up plan and transportation arranged in case the power goes out.
Check on those seniors in your neighborhood who may not have family or anyone close to do so.

To keep yourself or your loved one cool during extreme heat, take cool baths/showers, avoid heavy meals and strenuous activity, keep shades down and blinds closed but windows slightly open, keep electric lights off or turned down, and wear loose, lightweight clothing. Muscle cramping can be the first sign of a heat-related illness. Pay attention; if you suspect a senior could be too hot – take action!

You may want to keep this article handy as an informative reminder. Knowing what to do to keep yourself or your loved one safe in extreme weather is invaluable for the coming years!

Barbara Dupras is a retired senior center social worker who also is an energy practitioner and enjoys her home on the Chocolay River. She can be reached at duprasbarb@yahoo.com.

Sources: http://www.seniorcarehgomes.com/health-and-wellness/winter-health-problems.html; www.cdc.gov/extremeheat/warning.

Celebrating Our Fifth Anniversary!

by Roslyn McGrath

Anniversaries can be a great opportunity to reflect upon and celebrate what got you there, as well as what is and what can be, and refine and recommit to your vision of what you’re celebrating as you move forward.

Five years ago, I recognized the need for a truly local wellness publication, one where community members share their expertise and insight with us, increasing our understanding of the many ways we can increase our health and happiness and the many wellness resources available locally to support us in this

A big thank you to each of our writers –regular column writers Barb Dupras, Victoria Jungwirth, Jenny Magli, Miriam Moeller, Jessica Nagelkirk, Heidi Stevenson, Steve Waller and Val Wilson, as well as all those who’ve contributed articles and photographs along the way, (see full list on p.3), who so impress me with the quality and care they bring to each article. I and our many readers get to learn so much every time!

A big thank you to all our advertisers, whose passion and purpose are a big part of what makes our community tick, and who help make presenting this wealth of wellness information possible. I think you’ll enjoy discovering more about what their big hearts and expertise gift our community on pages 10 and 11 of this issue! And please consider letting them know how much you appreciate all they do.

A big thank you to proofreader Tyler Tichelaaar for his expert eyes and mind, kind heart and helpfulness, Curtis Kyllonen for his years of cheerfully and faithfully getting over a quarter of our many copies to where they need to go, to Tom O’Connell for making our early covers beautiful, to the various photographers whose eyes for local scenes have also helped create beautiful covers, to all our print shop helpers who’ve assisted me in getting the job done right, the many businesses and organizations who’ve made a place for Health & Happiness to be easily picked up, and to my husband, Kevin McGrath, for always pitching in with whatever’s needed, whether it’s a warm hug and smile, sound advice, listening ears, great ideas, timely deliveries, inspiring, light-hearted articles or encouraging words.

And a big thank you to YOU, our readers, for all your support and appreciation. You make it all worthwhile!

It’s the support of all of you that has made it possible to cover topics ranging from cooking with rutabaga to traditional Chinese medicine, child rearing tips to overcoming writer’s block, mortgage and energy-saving advice to mindfulness practices, pet treat recipes to U.P. kayaking, long distance elder care to wild crafting and so much more; increase our distribution to 7,500 copies at over 250 locations, five times where we started five years ago, (and there are still places where we run out of copies!); and further invest in our community with donations to the Beaumier Upper Peninsula Heritage Center, Devos Art Museum, Great Lakes Recovery Centers, Hiawatha Music Festival, Huron Mountain Club Gallery, Lake Superior Hospice, Marquette Arts & Culture Center, Marquette County Health Department, Marquette Maritime Museum, Marquette Regional History Center, Medical Care Access Coalition, Northern Initiatives, Oasis Gallery, UPAWS, Upper Peninsula Children’s Museum, and Upper Peninsula Environmental Coalition’s Celebrate the U.P.

Below are a few excerpts of the congratulations I’ve received on our fifth anniversary. Thank you so much to all those who’ve made a point of expressing their appreciation, whether in person or in writing!

I look forward to continuing to serve our community’s wellness information needs with high quality and creativity, as well as launching our five year commitment to supporting a different area of community life each year through increased coverage and donations, starting this year with the increasingly important issue of elder care.

So fittingly, this issue of Health & Happiness U.P. Magazine is dedicated to the topics of celebration, age and “fives” – enjoy!

Roslyn Elena McGrath, Publisher, Health & Happiness U.P. Magazine

I want to congratulate you on your fifth anniversary of Health & Happiness. Every cover has been beautiful and the wide array of articles has provided a wealth of information and insight to readers. Your vision of a need and your willingness and excitement to fill that need has been remarkable. Here’s to many more issues! – Gareth Zellmer

Congratulations on the 5th anniversary of Health and Happiness! It’s some of the best reading to come out of our “far northern outpost” community. May the coming year be the best yet; here’s to five more! – Sue Schenk Drobny

Congratulations from Natural Connections! We celebrate you for your commitment and passion in providing a wonderfully effective information connection between our holistic community and U.P. residents through your beautiful magazine, Health & Happiness!

Happy 5th Anniversary from Lake Superior Holistic Connection! Your magazine is a bright light in our community! It’s a beacon illuminating paths of possibility to those seeking natural ways to align their body, mind, spirit! Congrats! – Diana Oman

It’s a joy, truly an inspiration to witness this evolution of Health & Happiness, how you have brought this brilliant idea, an idea that lit you up and lit us up as well, into manifestation. I look forward to receiving this uplifting publication with its focus on our possibilities and potential, and the labor of love that you as creator, as bridge-maker, as editor, as publisher, as marketer have put into each and every issue. It is a template for all of us, the way that you have taken a dream and made it reality, learning the next step and the next step as you’ve walked this creative path. And look how we all benefit, what you have brought to all of us! – Helen Haskell Remien

Health & Happiness’s Contributing Writers & Photographers, 2007 – 2012:

Leslie Allen, Linda Andriacchi, Stuart Baker, Leslie Bek, Gina Brown, Audra Campbell, Lisa Cerasoli, Joan Chadde, Pam Christenson, Amy Clickner, Stuart Cooper, Patty Cornish, Martha Crenshaw, Kim Danielson, Sarah Dean, Chuck Delpier, Sara DeFrancesco, Melinda Dollhopf, Barb Dupras, Cindy Engle, Sydney Giovenco, Lee Goodwin, Genean Granger, Kathy Harsch, Victoria Jungwirth, Kristen Karls, Kim Kee, Mick Kiaros, Virginia Kleaver, Amanda Klein, Tammy Krassick, Lucy LaFaive, Jamie LaFreniere, Betsy Little, Jeaneen Luokkala, Alanna Luttenton, Dawn Lundin, Jenny Magli, Karen Mallinger, Amy Mattson, Kevin McGrath, Roslyn McGrath, Lisa McKenzie, Brian McMillan, Kristine McPeak, Miriam Moeller, Neil Moran, Mohey Mowafy, Jessica Nagelkirk, Kim Nixon, Colleen O’Hara, Valerie Olson, Diana Oman, Marissa Palomaki, Kris Harris Pfaffle, Phil Poutinen, Gretchen Preston, Diane Raven, Robert Regis, Helen Haskell Remien, Carol Rose, Sherri Rule, Christine Saari, Jon Saari, Diane Sautter, Deb Sergey, Dar Shepherd, Mary Soper, Jennifer Stelly, Heidi Stevenson, Tyler Tichelaar, Lynn Vanwelsenaers, Cassandra Vore, Steve Waller, Nicole Walton, Fran Walters, Cynthia Whitehouse, Val Wilson, Gareth Zellmer, & Joseph Zyble.

The Gifts of Aging by Barb Dupras

The definition of aging is “the process of growing old or maturing.” A synonym for aging is “obsolescence” (becoming obsolete). Of course, no one wants to become obsolete. We are constantly bombarded by the media with messages telling us we should not look old but instead try any product we can to regain our youthful appearance. It’s as if aging is a terrible malady we should avoid at all costs. Our youth-oriented culture has lost touch with the deep meanings that can collect around being old, as if it would be better to eliminate autumn and winter from the four seasons. “Let’s get rid of the hideous autumn foliage and withered leaves so everything can be green all the time.” But then the world would miss out on the true spirit of elders.

This mysterious process called aging has been part of the greater rhythm of life since life began. For me, one of the gifts of this later phase of life, as a result of all my life experiences, is the opportunity to be more inner-directed. As we come closer to the realm of the spirit, we have the opportunity to look back at our life and glean the lessons that we may or may not have learned earlier. We can learn to be more conscious, as we are no longer so distracted with children, the roller-coaster ride of hormones, or the outer challenges inherent in making a living. And we have the wisdom to look at it all. We may identify patterns in our life reoccurring time and again. It’s as if the original situation, (which may have occurred in childhood or when we were younger), keeps repeating itself throughout our lives in a futile attempt to resolve itself. Now we have the opportunity to identify unhealed issues and look to whatever means we are drawn to to heal or integrate them. I believe everything that happens in our lives is for our growth, and that we can come to a sense of peace about challenging experiences. One book that really helped me with this is The Presence Process by Michael Brown.

As we grow older, many of us focus on the physical changes. At sixty-two, I do notice the changes in my body. More and more, my body seems to have a mind of its own! It will no longer tolerate my pushing it to the limit and has announced to me in various ways that the pace is different now. And I am more focused on maintaining my health. I know that the “golden years” can be fraught with pain and disease. But I invite you to take a different perspective about your body. It has served you well for many, many years. And the natural state of our bodies is one of perfect health. No matter what state your body is in, it is always trying to rebalance or heal itself, (even if it means compromising other systems). For example, one day my lower back was giving me great discomfort. I sat and meditated for a while and totally relaxed. When I got up, the pain was completely gone. When you relax, your body has the opportunity to address the issues at hand. There are probably some reading this who have severe health issues thinking, “Sure, you are younger and in good health – easy for you to say!” But I do invite you to take some time every day to relax completely and think positive loving thoughts about your body. Your body does respond to the thoughts you think about it. Experiment and see what happens!

A friend in her sixties shared with me that she feels more like herself than she has since she was a child. I also feel that way. She explained that she is not dealing with midlife responsibilities so now she can pursue her passions.

I remember my life loving adventures – camping, solo canoe camping, backpacking, etc. Now I don’t feel the push to do those things. It was almost like I needed to prove something to myself. Now I feel peaceful and more grounded, with the opportunity to put things in a healthier perspective. A friend in her seventies said she did not start feeling old until her friends started dying. Then she started thinking about her age and her body started giving her challenges. She also said she no longer does things to mark them off her list; instead, she only does things she finds fun.

Historically, cultures have turned to the elders for answers to life’s deepest problems. Unfortunately, in this modern age the reins of power and leadership often go to individuals who have not yet gained the experience and wisdom necessary to make good decisions. There is a new philanthropic effort acknowledging that we once again need to access the wisdom of the elders to solve problems. “The Elders,” an international non-governmental organization of twelve elder public figures – peace activists, noted statesmen and human rights advocates, was brought together by Nelson Mandala in 2007. Its goal is to use the “almost 1000 years of collective experience” to work on solutions for seemingly insurmountable world problems such as poverty, human rights abuses, environmental issues, peace, and climate change. Some of the elders are: Desmond Tutu, Kofi Annan, Jimmy Carter and Mary Robinson. You can learn more about this organization at http://www.theelders.org.

With all the years that we seniors have lived, how wonderful it is that we can guide the next generation toward making good choices! There is groundedness and power in that. This phase brings the opportunity to explore life in a whole new way. Let’s embrace all the qualities in us that have served us well and share our innate wisdom. Let’s nourish our precious relationships And above all, let’s honor each other and be supportive of one another’s life journeys. There are more opportunities for us to explore than ever before. Let’s not waste time!

Barbara Dupras is a retired Senior Center Social Worker and practices Energy Medicine. She loves gardening, hiking, and kayaking in the Chocolay River, on which she lives.

Keeping Elder Holidays Special

By Barb Dupras

The holidays are a special time for celebrating family, renewing your connections with loved ones and being together. But families, like life, go through change, especially with older loved ones. Keeping the spirit of the holiday alive despite these changes keeps the fabric of family strong.

When there have been changes in a senior’s life— a new debilitating medical condition, loss of some independence, loss of a loved one, or even a change in the environment, the holidays can bring depression. This can be exhibited by loss of interest in things previously enjoyed, slowed thinking or response, decreased level of hygiene, inability to focus or concentrate, change in sleep patterns, loss of appetite and/or increased forgetfulness. If you have a feeling something is just not right, it might be good to talk to your loved one— it may be he or she is experiencing a simple fear that that can be remedied with reassurance. Communication is always important. Just knowing that you care gives your loved one that emotional support. During the holidays, continue to give your loved one a feeling of being needed (lack of this can also be a fear). Have him/her assist with holiday preparations such as decorating or cooking. Take a drive to see the holiday lights. Encourage him/her to tell stories of the past. Have the youngest serve the eldest first at meal time. All these things will help your senior feel loved no matter what changes have taken place. But if your loved one continues to exhibit symptoms of depression after two weeks, it may be a good idea to consult your doctor. The doctor would know if it could be a side effect from a medication or interaction between the meds and can give you information on how it could be treated. Also be aware that the senior’s generation did not recognize depression. The senior’s reaction may be one of not understanding, feeling that this shows weakness of character or is a mental illness. Some people have the mistaken belief that depression is a part of aging. Depression in the elderly results from losses and changes that are not caused by the physical aspects of aging. A strong deterrent to depression is having a strong network of support from family and/or friends.

Another big change can be a medical condition resulting in loss of physical functioning – stroke, severe arthritis, etc. Be mindful of your senior’s new physical needs. Are there steps in the house that would be difficult? Does the senior now need help getting up the porch steps? If the holiday is at the family home, does the senior need an elevated toilet seat? Can it be brought from the senior’s home? Also, with any new condition, one’s energy level would certainly change. Be aware that your senior may tire easily and need to rest. Also, he/she may not tolerate the stimulation of being with a lot of people as well as before but may not want to say anything. Also be aware that there may be new dietary needs. Locating an Elder Care online site could prove to be an invaluable resource for information.

One of the biggest challenges in celebrating holidays is with a loved one who has dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. If you are the caregiver and the festivities are at your house, it may be a good idea to send a letter to the family who are coming explaining the changes in your loved one so they will not be surprised or offended. It is important to let them know that the senior cannot process information as he/she did before. It helps to be specific. Also, if you are the caregiver it may help to make things simpler to give yourself a break. Asking for a holiday potluck may be a nice variation.

In terms of the senior, it would be helpful to have a special room where he or she could rest or be out of the fray of people. The person with the dementia cannot tolerate much stimulation. Helping your loved one maintain the usual routine as much as possible does help, as it gives the senior a feeling of stability. Even though the dementia slows down functioning, it is still important to include the senior in the festivities as much as possible, though at a later stage of Alzheimer’s, this could be a challenge to consider carefully.

If your loved one with dementia or Alzheimer’s is in a nursing facility, you can still celebrate together with a visit. People with dementia often cannot remember what they ate five minutes ago but do remember in detail the history of topics important to them. To help make a connection with your loved one, you could bring in pictures or an old photo album and talk about the past. You may be surprised how much will be shared. Another idea is to bring in old recordings of songs of his or her era. Or even sing them with him or her. There always is a thread of remembrance of favorite songs no matter what the severity of dementia. You can also start a project in which he/she puts together old pictures in an album. Be creative – the results will be a lasting memory which you will cherish. For more information regarding dealing with dementia and/or Alzheimer’s disease, the local Alzheimer’s Association in Marquette has a library filled with information. Phone calls with questions are also welcomed.

One of the most common challenges in these times is the distance between families. We all know that it is important to stay connected. In this high tech age there are some opportunities that may help. For those who have a computer, having a regular meeting using a video conferencing program such as Skype program can help. Family members can see each other on the screen and actually talk with one another. Another idea is to give your grandparents webcams. Then make a date every week to connect. Obtain a free conference line on your phone that you can send to all family members. Celebrate with your seniors long distance by signing up at FreeConferenceCall.com or Mr.Conference.com. Charges are the same as long distance calls for each person.

We can make the holidays the special time they’ve always been meant to be, regardless of the changes. Our elders are a rich source of wisdom, history and love that can help bind a family together in precious ways. Let’s always value them and make them as much a part of our lives as we are able.

Barbara Dupras is a newly retired Senior Center Social Worker. She is also an energy practitioner and is on the board of Natural Connections. Barbara lives in a wonderful home on the Chocolay River with her cat Vido.

Reprinted with permission from Health & Happiness U.P. Magazine, Winter 2011 – 2012